So, in response to my last post on how I find some of Amanda Palmer's songs problematic, I had someone reply on my personal blog: "I think "Missed Me" is *supposed* to be a really creepy, unpleasant song about fucked things girls/women do."
But how often does this REALLY happen? I mean, I remember being a fairly sexually precocious teenaged girl, and hanging out with other sexually precocious teenaged girls. Yeah, we all slept with older guys, and we all went through some amazingly byzantine maneuvers to keep those relationships secret from anyone who might rat us out.
Seriously, I want you to sit down and really think about you and your friends as teenagers. Now, how many girls that you knew personally, that you could verify through conversation with her and not just through idle gossip and character assassination, set out to seduce and destroy adult men? I couldn't think of any.
Now, I'm not saying that this has never happened. It's not like women are exempt from having the 'asshole gene' by virtue of their gender. Every group, regardless of age, race, gender, has assholes that fuck it up for everyone else. What I'm saying is that this scenario is about as common in reality as false rape accusations, and, like false rape accusations, is depicted in the media as being far more common than it actually is. And that "she was asking for it" is one of the most common rape defenses out there.
As I noted in my last post: Do we really need another piece adding to the mythology that teenaged girl blackmail adult men into sexual relationships? Really? I mean, think about who benefits from this narrative.
Is it teenaged girls? Well, no, not really. Not at all, actually. This narrative gives men permission to view girls who are essentially still children as sexual objects and viable sexual targets, and excuses them when they assault those girls.
"I couldn't help it your honor, I am but a lowly bee who must stick his proboscis into any flower that happens by, and this thirteen year old floozy was flaunting the hell out of her flower at me."
In trying to come up with any actual cases of predatory teenaged girls in my acquaintance, what I did come up with were a number of friends who had been molested as children/young girls, and in several cases, their attackers were never charged because the people who should have been protecting them (parents, teachers, the police, etc...) said, "You probably led him on," or words to that effect.
In Australia a judge denounced a TEN YEAR OLD GIRL as complicit in her GANG RAPE. No, I'm not making that up. I wish to Gods I was. Because we all know that young girls want to be gang-raped by older boys and men. Also in Australia (I apologize, I've been reading a lot of Hoyden About Town lately), a twenty four year old man who had been fucking a TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL, was handed a light sentence by a judge who said that the girl had obviously been enthusiastic about the "relationship." If you do a google dump, you can find tons of similarly egregious cases in the US as well.
It's kind of funny, but I don't recall a case where a boy who had been raped was accused of seducing his attacker, or dressing like a tart. I mean, in the Mary Kay Letourneau case, you had people who elbowed one another and said things like she was "every boy's dream,"* but I'm unaware of anyone suggesting that HE came on to HER. Nor did anyone ever accuse him of trying to gain power of his teacher to blackmail her into good grades or any shit like that.
Ok, those of you with adolescent and pre-adolescent children. I want you to spend some time with your ten, eleven, twelve and thirteen year olds, and then look me in the eye and tell me that if someone substantially older than your child's age began a "sexual relationship" with your child that you would actually believe your child was a full, empowered agent in that relationship. That you would believe YOUR CHILD SEDUCED some innocent adult schmuck. Seriously. Do it. You probably can't, can you? Then WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S LITTLE GIRL OR LITTLE BOY?!?!?!?!?!!?? What the hell is wrong with people?**
See, and here's the thing. It's not hard to not fuck children. I asked my husband what his secret was. I mean, we've been together for 16 years now, and he has not once fucked a sexually predatory teenaged girl. As a bouncer in a nightclub he had a fair number of underage girls try to come on to him to try to get him to let them in, but not once did he succumb. "I don't fuck children." Was his answer. What, that's it? There's no spell, drug, chemical, ritual? This is where he looks at me like I'm insane and says, "No. You don't fuck kids. It's wrong. Period, end of story. It's really not that hard."
This is the thing. Don't want to get busted for fucking an underage kid, then DON'T FUCK UNDERAGE KIDS. Even if that mythical twelve year old nymphet does put the moves on you, as an adult it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT FUCK CHILDREN. Seriously. You are a thinking, reasoning human being. Act like it.
*Which is a WHOLE other issue. Also, I don't recall anyone saying, "Well, he was asking or it, wearing those Tuffskins like that."
**It was just pointed out to me, that indeed there are people who would blame their ten year old for being raped, and that I had earlier mentioned knowing several people who have had that experience. So, please, if it in any way seems feasible to you that a ten year old seduced an adult... Never have children. If you have children, find someone else to raise them, you sick fuck.
Mickey Schulz is a guest author for the California NOW blog; her opinions are not necessarily those of California NOW. Copyright Mickey Schulz, with permission granted to California NOW for use on this site.
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